Breaking Shame "Shame is the feeling of being unworthy, inadequate, or defective, expressed in the belief that: 'There's something wrong with me.’ It is a feeling of remorse about one's worth as a person. The self, more than one's behavior, becomes the target of attack."
From: Dynamics of Shame - Uzma Mazhar
Shame is a crippling emotion that leaves people feeling that they are inherently defective. Common responses to shame are paralysis, escapism, withdrawal, perfectionism, criticism, even rage. Yet generations of people have been conditioned to believe parts of themselves are shameful rather than to respect and accept them as good. In the U.S. depictions of hate and violence fill our media (and minds), while parts of the human body (even in the most non-sexual of situations) are censored, when they are shown it is usually done in a titillating, exploitive manner. These parts of ourselves are legally and/or socially considered obscene, indecent, and offensive. Children, in this society, are taught from the earliest age that they must always be clothed even when it is unbearably hot and uncomfortable. All are forced by law to wear clothing that hinders swimming, relaxing, sports, etc. because of some who view complete nudity as indecent and shameful. Is it really any wonder that our media is so filled with images of hate when are ashamed of, and/or uncomfortable with, even hate, part of ourselves?
There is nothing redeeming or respectful about body shame. Shame and respect are contradictory, you cannot respect what you have shame towards. Where did this body shame come from? Much of it seems to come from religion, and as far as western culture is concerned, Christian religion in particular. Does Christian scripture support this? In Gen 1:31 God says that everything he created is "very good.” The Bible also says we are wonderfully made, (Psalm 139:14) that we are the temple of God (2nd Cor.6:16), that everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected (1 Tim. 4:4), and that we are not to question or quarrel with God about how he made us (Isaiah 29:16, Isaiah 45:9-12, Romans 9:20) The Bible also says "To those that are pure, all things are pure, but to those who are full of sin and do not believe, nothing is pure. Both their minds and their consciences have been ruined. They say they know God, but their actions show they do not accept Him. They are hateful people, they refuse to obey, and they are useless for doing anything good.” (Titus 1:15,16), and that before humans started to doubt, disobey, and question God (a.k.a. sin) that they were naked and unashamed (Gen 2:25).
These scriptures, and more, do not support the concept of body shame. Yes there is scriptural support for shame, but that shame is in regards to sin, not the body. Sin is transgression from God, disobedient or evil thoughts and actions, not the body God gave us and proclaimed to be "very good.” (In fact treating the body as anything other then "very good" as He proclaimed, is a transgression from God's will.) Unfortunately this has been twisted, in the Garden of Eden humans where deceived into doubting and questioning God and started to decide for themselves (apart from God) what is good and evil. Part of that deception is the maligning of God's good creation as something shameful or indecent. The body, rather then sin, is seen as the cause of impure thoughts, and body shame is regarded as right while all other results of sin (separation from God, death, sickness, hardship, hate, etc., etc.) are clearly seen as wrong. Not only that, but these consequences of the fall are things we strive to undue, escape, overcome, or correct, all (it seems) except for one, body shame.
Rather then being rejected, this deception grew, in the early Christian church, largely due to the influence of Gnostic heresy (i.e. all physical matter is evil, only the spirit is good). Then as Christianity grew from a persecuted faith into a powerful religion it attracted those who saw in it opportunity to gain power and control over others. The Gnostic idea of the body being evil served those seeking power extremely well, as shame is a great way to control others. In 43 BC Publis Syrus said: "To feel shame is a sort of slavery" Power hungry, controlling, people in society, politics, and especially religion, know this and use it!
Body shame contributes to a lowered view of self and actually helps increase sexual temptation, anxiety, compulsion, rather then prevent it, (This happens by making parts of the body more alluring, rather then something that is simply accepted and seen everyday. Healthy sexual attraction comes more from relationship and less from pure physical attraction.) it is damaging both to individuals and society as a whole. Sociological and psychological research (in addition to plain old common sense) prove that acceptance and respect for the whole body is beneficial. Cultures with greater acceptance for the whole body show lower incidence's of sexual deviancy and crime including rape and child molestation, as well as people with greater emotional health.
This site has been developed in the hope that it will help many realize that, the only thing shameful about the human body is the attitudes we have been conditioned to develop toward it. To help people break free from body shame and stop passing it to future generations! Breaking shame is actually quite simple, discarding clothes in everyday situations helps to quickly get rid of the restrictions, bondage, and shame imposed by those clothes and the conditioning of body shame, especially if you are around others that have done the same. Becoming comfortable with your and others nudity, can be very freeing, like removing an emotional backpack of bricks.
"Shame does not make a person a better member of society but, rather, promotes dysfunction individually and systematically."- From the book "SHAME Spiritual Suicide" - Vicki Underland-Rosow, Ph.D
CFI offers you an opportunity to investigate a different view of nudity. One that can help put nudity in the context of body respect rather then indecency and shame. I hope it helps you discover a freer, healthier, and more balanced way of living. However, it cannot be effective in helping you break free from body shame, without action on your part. If you read that vitamins are good for your health, but you never take any, has it really been of benefit to you? Read, educate yourself on a healthier, more respectful way to view the human body, and then take action! Discover the freedom of discarding shame and embracing body respect, take off your clothes, take off shame, and break free!
It is also the purpose of CFI to be a resource for you in communicating body respect, rather then shame, to others. While it is important to communicate that nudity is enjoyable, feels good, is freeing, etc. it is also critical to communicate that nudity is much more then something that just "feels good". Why?
"Nudity in sunbathing alone will deserve constitutional protection only when the act of nude sunbathing is shown to convey a particular message or philosophy.” "If through collective groups, proponents could present nude sunbathing as communicating an idea, belief or message, rather than simply as an individualistic preference, the courts would be compelled to afford nude sunbathing constitutional protection to invalidate local ordinances which seek to prohibit it."United States District Court Judge Richard B. Kellam
Those who most strongly and vocally oppose nudity do so on the grounds of it being immoral, offensive, and indecent. They do not care whether it "feels good,” they view it as morally wrong (along with many other things that "feel good"). The way to counter their message is on moral grounds, showing that societies who are more accepting of nudity have far lower rates for sex abuse, rape, teen pregnancy, etc., and that it is in fact not opposed to scripture or morality. That it is in fact body shame that represents a threat to morality, not body acceptance. To counter them we must also communicate that much clothing exists for no purpose other then to cover parts of the human body that some consider indecent and shameful. That for many people being legally compelled to wear such clothing at a pool, gym, park, beach, etc., even around ones own home, is morally offensive and a violation of their conscience. When we stand on principle and say that we conscientiously object to certain clothing, because of deeply held values and convictions, others (including the legal system) will take us more seriously then if we simply say it "feels good" implying that it is nothing more then a personal preference.A simple way of helping to communicate this message is simply to refer others to this site. There are some lighthearted sections (such as "The World's Best Swimsuit" and Unclothes), and more serious sections including ones directed to parents and Christians. With this or any of the other pages you can easily e-mail the URL or even the whole page to others. You can also easily make copies of articles on this site and pass them out at events, mail them to friends, family, media, elected officials, etc., etc. (Just be certain to include the CFI's web address and copyright) The more this message gets out, the more it will help establish in people minds body that body shame is destructive personally and in our society and that nudity is a matter of body respect, conviction, and deeply held values for many. Join us today and help break this societies negative conditioning of body shame. Thanks for your support and help in breaking body shame by promoting body respect.
